A Young Woman Shares Her Experience as a Suicide Survivor

Trigger warning: This blog post discusses suicide.

I don’t remember all the words, but I remember my mom calling me the second day I was in the hospital. She asked if I had everything I needed, if the food was okay and if she should bring anything to make my stay more comfortable. She asked all the things a mother would ask, but what she couldn’t ask in the moment was, “Why?” I don’t think she could have brought herself to ask that; she was still in shock. I don’t blame her.

In February 2021, I attempted suicide. I was 16 at the time. The recovery was long and incredibly difficult, not just for me, but for my family as well.

No parent ever thinks that something like this will happen. It’s normal to feel angry, confused, numb or in denial after a child’s suicide attempt. Every emotion is valid. Moving forward may be difficult, as that involves confronting the issue, which you may not feel ready to do. That’s also okay.

The recovery process, including therapy recommendations and safety plans, will be directed by your child’s care team. However, there are a few ways you can support your child in recovery. It’s also important that you take care of your own mental health during this time and acknowledge that you went through something traumatic.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and with that, it’s important to talk about suicide. It’s important to share and listen to stories because it helps people to feel seen and understood. I hope sharing my story will help people who have gone through a similar experience.

Children and young people are struggling with their mental health

The Journal of Clinical Medicine states, “The pandemic has worsened the mental health of minors worldwide by 10%. Suicidal tendencies, self-harming behavior and eating disorders have all increased among adolescents.” The study also found an overall increase in adolescent hospitalizations for mental health. But it’s not just teens and pre-teens being impacted. According to the 2022 National Healthcare Quality and Disparities Report, “Among U.S. children ages 5-11 years, the percentage of mental health-related [emergency department] ED visits increased 24%, and the percentage of these ED visits for adolescents ages 12-17 increased 31% from 2019 to March-October 2020.”

Talking about mental illness helps eliminate the stigma, helps lower the number of mental health-related hospitalizations and prevents suicide. By normalizing mental health conditions, teens and parents become more comfortable talking about these issues and seeking treatment. The Annals of Global Health states, “Untreated diseases also increase the risk of self-harm, with suicide being the third leading cause of mortality among adolescents’ aged 15 to 19 years old.” Treatment can prevent suicidal ideation and the loss of more young people to suicide.

What to expect after hospitalization

After general hospitalization, your child may be sent to an inpatient facility. This may last from a few days to a month.

For me, it lasted just over a week. Facilities will typically maintain a schedule for patients, which, in my experience, included: group therapy, art therapy, schooling and movie nights. At my facility, the school program provided real credits, so I didn’t lose progress. Some facilities also have quiet spaces with sensory tools to help children and teens with sensory processing differences.

Your child will likely be provided with a temporary therapist, a psychiatrist and receive a psychological evaluation. As a parent, you may be involved in some sessions.

The discharge process typically involves developing a safety plan, sending out referrals to mental health professionals and a comprehensive report of your child’s stay. Of course, every facility is different. Regardless, it’s an important first step in getting your child the help they need.

Explore therapy options

As mentioned, your child’s care team will provide therapy recommendations and referrals upon discharge. However, you may want to explore other options. Not every treatment is compatible with your child’s needs. Finding the right provider and service is an important part of recovery.

The following therapies are recommended by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP):

• Collaborative management and Assessment of suicidality (CAMS)
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
• Cognitive behavior for suicide prevention (CBT-SP/CT-SP)
• Attachment-based family therapy (ABFT)

Read more about each of these therapies here.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) also offers various classes, which teach you to recognize the signs that someone is considering suicide and how to intervene.

Do regular check-ins

Frequently checking in with your child is important to their recovery. As the AFSP states, “It can start simply by asking, ‘Are you okay?’” These check-ins help establish a deeper understanding between you and your child, which helps increase your child’s sense of security.

Once my mother was ready, she asked me what I was going through. I told her about the loneliness I felt at the time, my social struggles and how I felt like a failure. After listening to me, she reassured me about the good things she sees in me. She told me about her hopes for me and how she’ll always be there. It was cathartic for both of us, and we are now closer than ever.     

I owe a lot of the strength I have today to my mom; she stayed strong for me when I was recovering from my suicide attempt. I think it’s important to name it. I’m so grateful for the kindness and patience she has shown me. I’m also so grateful to be here today to help others who may be struggling with their mental health or are concerned about their children’s mental health.