Celebrating Our Son's Differences

Imagine this. You are expecting your first child — looking forward to the miracle of a lifetime. Your mom and dad, brothers and sisters, neighbors and friends, all have shared with you their parenting experiences. You have recorded, filed, even memorized, each suggestion and every piece of advice. You feel like the best-prepared expectant parent ever. With generations' worth of insights and the unimaginable love that you feel for your unborn child, parenthood will be a breeze.

Ready for parenthood

Sure, life is busy: two-career couple, business travel, house upkeep, social activities, plenty of bills. But it's nothing that other parents don't deal with, and certainly nothing that you can't handle.

Next, imagine this. For many months, you have wondered whether you will have a boy or a girl. Will the delivery be easy or difficult? Did the baby inherit mostly your traits, or will the characteristics of your spouse shine through more? Your support system is in place, so you know that no matter what little bumps you might encounter, this child will be loved always. It's time — the little miracle named Steven arrives. From here on out, your lives will never be the same.

Steven has Down syndrome

Now imagine this. Shortly after giving birth, while the euphoria of your child's arrival still is in full swing, you meet with your doctor, and you think you hear her say that Steven has Down syndrome. The world around you falls silent. You hear the words repeated, and they hit you like a ton of bricks. Your mind starts racing. What will my family think? How will my friends react? What will my child's future be like? What will my future be like? Who is going to help us care for our child?

Your mom and dad and sisters and brothers are doing their best to be helpful. Your friends aren't sure what to say or do. You have collected a lot of information — too much, really — on Down syndrome, and you feel confused, exhausted, hopeless, and alone. You know that you and your family will love your baby deeply and forever, but deep down, you wonder who else will.

There are others who will love our child

And now, imagine this. You walk into Fraser School (which you had never heard of before a friend mentioned it), and you're greeted by warm, friendly, calm, knowledgeable, and encouraging people. The surroundings are bright and cheery, and children of all ages who have disabilities — as well as children who don't — are running, playing, and are happy. For the first time, you realize that there is hope, and that certainly there are others — plenty of them — who will love your child. This was a real experience — our experience. It was a revelation to us, and the beginning of a new approach to our lives. Steven and the rest of our family are doing just great, thanks in large part to the incredible love and knowledge and support of the people of Fraser School.