Three Children with Special Needs

People say that I must have a lot of patience to be a single parent of four children. Three of my children have special needs. Thinking about the challenges that life has given me as a father caring for these children alone, I realized I had two choices: dwell on it, or move on with it. I’m the type of person who just moves on with it. So, with a little patience, and the help of Fraser and others, that’s what I’ve done.

Fraser is one-stop shopping

Fraser is what I call "one-stop shopping." Without Fraser, I would have been stuck in a myriad of fragmented places trying to obtain fragmented services from fragmented departments. It would have been impossible to get to all of the services that my kids need. My kids would have suffered.

Daughter diagnosed with autism

My first experience with Fraser was with Laura, my second daughter. Laura was significantly delayed and was noncommunicative for her age. At the age of 3, she was diagnosed as having autism. What was an extremely traumatic time for me (being told that my child has special needs) was handled with such smoothness at Fraser. Right from the beginning, with the intake process, getting help was painless and straightforward.

The Fraser staff went right to work setting goals for Laura and mapping out a plan to reach them. She learned speech and language skills at Fraser School. When it was time, Fraser helped us with the transition to public school, and today Laura is successful in a second-grade class for children with autism. She is 8 years old, and her learning skills have improved significantly.

Both twin boys have special needs

Next came my boys, Jacob and Joshua — twins! Jake, the older by 15 minutes, has been through a lot. As a baby, Jake cried all the time and didn’t seem happy. He was throwing up and his head was swelling abnormally. At 5 months, he was diagnosed with hydrocephalus, a condition in which excessive accumulation of fluid causes harmful pressure on the tissues of the brain. A shunt was surgically placed in his head to relieve the pressure. The operation helped tremendously, although the doctors believe that his condition caused brain damage.

Jake is nonverbal but uses gestures and visual cues to communicate. Through Fraser, he has learned the PEC, or Picture Exchange Communication, system. By choosing a picture, he communicates what he wants. The pictures also spell out the name of the item, so he has learned some word recognition, or "reading," as well. Although he is unable to tell you that he’d like a sandwich, he’ll go to the refrigerator and get all the ingredients out to show you what he wants.

Now 6, Jake is in Fraser programs in which he works on speech and language communication. Staff members also work with him in physical and occupational therapy, in which he practices things like cutting with a scissors, throwing and catching a ball, and calming and organizing routines. I like that Fraser sets up goal-oriented tasks according to each child’s abilities.

Josh, Jake’s twin, is doing well. What holds Josh back is that he’s extremely impulsive and has a short attention span. He’ll do things like pour a bottle of dish soap or lotion on the floor. Two days a week he attends Fraser, where he works on communication skills and calming activities. The Fraser staff has taught him to rub his hands together to stay calm. It’s really amazing the skills that he has gained at Fraser. His learning has gone through the roof. He is potty-trained and is writing his name. He has a huge vocabulary for a 6-year-old. He’ll tell you how he feels, and he is well-adjusted. Josh is in a kindergarten class for kids with special needs and will be moving into first grade.

Don't forget my "typical" child

If you’re counting, you may have noticed that I’ve talked about three of my children, the three with special needs. I don’t want to miss the chance to tell you about Sarah, my oldest. She is 10 and has typical needs. She has a well-developed idea of who she is and how she fits into the world. As any parent knows, all kids need special attention. Every night I give her a hug and a spin, just like my other kids. With the significant needs of my children, Fraser has taken a weight off my shoulders and has really saved me. The people at Fraser have added experiences to my kids’ lives that they wouldn’t have received anywhere else. Each of my children is a joy. Each is great for unique reasons. Sarah is a straight-A student. Laura has empathy and a smile like no other. Jake has the greatest laugh ever. Josh is a charmer who talks your ear off. I say that all kids have special needs, just different ones. My kids are doing great!