A Change in Lifestyle to Change Behavior

I found out about Fraser back in 2000, when my oldest son was put in the mental health unit of a local hospital. Tristan was 2 ½ years old. They kept him there for a week because he had severely injured his younger brother.

Behavioral problems out of control

Tristan was diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder and parent/child conflict. He was emotionally disturbed and had major behavioral problems. He didn’t listen to anyone or anything and talked back continually. His behavior problems were out of control. It was very sad and hard to see my son in the mental health unit. He was so young, just a baby.

We decided to enroll Tristan in the Child and Family Mental Health Program at Fraser Child & Family Center. The program is geared toward children who have severe behavioral problems. They worked with Tristan on his aggressive behaviors, how to communicate with others and how to verbalize his feelings.

Relearning negative behaviors

Tristan went there until he was 3 years old. When he graduated from the program in 2001, we enrolled him in Fraser School through the Family Focused Program. Our goal was to continue to get Tristan help. We also decided to get his brothers involved as well. I thought that since Tristan needed help with his behaviors, my other two boys might also. They all needed to see how children should behave and interact with their peers. I did not want the younger boys learning negative behaviors.

My boys’ father and I had a lot of problems. In 2001, we decided to end our relationship after more than seven years of being together. I needed to focus on my children.

Programs for parents, too

For the past five years, I have been involved in the Family Focused Program at Fraser School. This program has helped my boys and me tremendously. I have learned so much from the parent groups and home visits. The boys have learned so much from teachers, friends and preschool. Throughout these years, we have been involved with four different family workers. Each one of them holds a special place in my heart. They all were so nice and open, and there to listen and give advice. Every bit of advice I got, I took to heart and tried. I learned how to communicate better with my children and how to positively discipline them. I also learned how to share my feelings in a positive manner.

Both of my older boys have graduated from Fraser. They now attend public schools and are involved in emotional and behavioral disorders (EBD) classes. My boys are doing so good in school. My youngest son is finishing up at Fraser and will be going to kindergarten this year. We will all miss Fraser deeply. I thank Fraser for all the help they have given me and my family.

I am a single parent of three beautiful, challenging young men. I have and will continue to dedicate my life to my children. We all have changed and grown a lot over the years and will continue through the years ahead.

Fraser gave me courage to get through the day

Ultimately, I know I am the one who has helped changed my boys’ behaviors by changing my lifestyle. I know that everyone has tests and challenges. My boys are definitely a challenge day-in and day-out, but I would never change it for anything in the world. With the support from Fraser, I will have the courage to get through it every day.