Fraser Gave Us Our Son Back

At 18 months, our son, Dylan, had made all of his developmental milestones and we expected him to begin talking. Soon, he was not only talking, but knew his numbers, the alphabet and was reading. He memorized songs and danced and twirled. Everyone was amazed and thought he was a genius.

Receiving a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome

When Dill was 3, he started to clap like he couldn't control it. I asked the pediatrician if he had autism and he said, "No, he is too smart!" That summer, an expert diagnosed Dill as possibly having an autism spectrum disorder called Asperger's syndrome. I knew life would be hard, but I had hope. He was such a bright and engaging little boy.

As a kindergartener, Dill was anxious. He developed anxiety over the words "Hi" and "Bye." He would get upset over people not saying "Hi" or saying it and startling him. He was very frustrated trying to control this.

Social challenges arise

In second grade, Dill was ahead in spelling, reading and math and had superior memorization skills. But social challenges began to show. I once saw him on the playground trying to play, but having no clue. Dill began having behavior issues and being sent to the principal's office. We started stimulants to try to control the behavior. He didn't eat, was hyper, and looked very fragile. My mother told me that if I didn't get him eating, he was not going to make it. I also remember an autism specialist saying that Dill was going to need huge amounts of intensive therapy. We saw many specialists and had many tests.

When Dill got in trouble in third grade I advocated that it was his autism. He was often sent to the time-out rooms in the main office. When he would yell or fight, everyone could see and hear him. I hated picking him up there. Everyone looked at us — some with sadness, others judgingly. Dill would get loose, run back to class and hide under a table. I remember carrying him out with two teachers while his peers watched.

One day, the principal called and said that Dill had taken off his clothes and was hallucinating. If I didn't come to get him right away, she was contemplating calling an ambulance. After this, we arranged for teachers to come to our home to finish out the school year.

Where did my bright little boy go?

I was a mess, like in a worried fog. I had so many questions. Where did my bright little boy go? Did he have a breakdown? Is it the medication? Is it our parenting? I spent every minute looking for answers. If Dill stayed this way, or became worse, he would have to be placed somewhere. He was getting bigger and more dangerous to himself and his sisters.

We had a neuropsychology evaluation done at Fraser. The report uncovered Dill's strengths and deficits. After hearing what we were going through, it was recommended that we see Pat Pulice. I was thrilled — I had heard that Pat was the guru of Asperger's. When Pat agreed to see us weekly, I felt blessed!

The fog begins to lift

Pat had the most creative ideas. She gave us tools for home and school. She even designed comic strips to help Dill process problems. The more we saw Pat, the more I felt the fog lift.

Dill started at a new school with very supportive teachers. They were going to keep him in school, offer breaks, and not call us to come get him. I set up a meeting with the teachers, Fraser, the occupational therapist, and the social worker. I think we were all impressed with each other.

The teachers never called me to come get him. They taught him to ask for breaks and to regulate his body and emotions. Our team approach was working. I knew that if anyone could help my son, it was this team.

When Dill turned 10, his behavior changed. It wasn't without problems, but he was staying in class and playing outside with the other kids. One day he said, "Mom, this school is not going to kick me out are they?" I said, "No." Then he asked if his old school had. I told him they just didn't know how to help him.

Support for the entire family

Dill started in Fraser's social skills group. With encouragement, he made it through a year of sessions and loved it. At the same time, I attended a parent support group which has helped me to heal and to network with other parents.

Dill used to want to know everyone's age. One day, he told me that he didn't need to know ages anymore and that he learned that at social skills group. He then said, "I think we love that Fraser place, right mom? And we will keep going!" I told him that he was very smart! He recently had his 11th birthday party and invited some of the Fraser staff. When Jimbo and Drew came, it made his day — and my heart feel good.

Today, Dill is doing well in school and spends most of his time in the regular classroom. A teacher even nominated him as outstanding youth in our community for reading each week to first graders. He is working hard to receive school awards, even the attendance award.

The Fraser team brought my son back

I believe that it took the whole team to bring my child back. Support, teamwork, consistency, and great people with wisdom gave us our lives back. I know there will be bumps along the way, but it feels great to know we are doing the best that we can and are receiving the best care. Working with Fraser has given us the tools and strength to break out of the negative and strive for the positive.